Getting to know ME

Do you ever feel like you don't really know yourself?  I mean, we are with ourselves all the time, we can't escape from ourself, so we should know who the heck we are right?  It may just be me, but sometimes I feel like I don't really know who I am, like what makes me tick. I mean I know who I am, I'm Kelly freaking Brader, but more of what I like, don't like, love and hate, what interests me, my fears, doubts, passions, dreams, embarrassing stories, my favorites, my least favorites, random things like that.  It may have to do with being the youngest in the family.  I had so many people to look up to so I just kind of did what they did, and followed their footsteps, not really getting to know what I like or want to do.  Now, that was no one's fault but mine, I am not throwing blame or anything, just talking writing it out, trying to understand myself ya know?  I also would much rather listen to other people talk then talk about myself.  I just find others interesting, I don't really find myself interesting.  I hear myself think all day, I don't want to hear myself talk too!  But, I have to remember that other people do find me interesting (I think? ha) and I need to have a little more confidence in myself and remember that things I say are worth being said.   That is how we build relationships after all.

This post sparked because a couple of days ago I met with some people about a potential job opportunity.  To break the ice we all had to go around and say our name and say something embarrassing/weird about ourself.  I am sure we have all played those games before... I immediately start sweating, face hot, because I can not think of anything!  For people that know me, I am a pretty silly, weird person, so I should of had a whole list to ramble off right?  But I couldn't think of anything cool and of course, I said something stupid that still makes me mad that I said! haha then I was asked the question, tell us anything we should know about you.  Now, that is a broad question and I told them all that came to mind and I hope I redeemed myself after the icebreaker.  Time will tell!

Now, I have gotten to know myself a lot better the past four months as I have started this journey of self-transformation.  It has been a fun adventure, and I have realized that I am worth getting to know.  I am not too shabby after all, and I kind of like myself. :)  I saw this post around Valentines Day on the Tone It Up website and I thought I would participate and get to know me a little better.  I encourage anyone else to do this as well.  You can even come up with your own and do it with a friend or your significant other.  I am sure you will learn something you didn't know, or really think of about yourself and it can be fun to do it with someone else, I sure plan on it!  Well, here's a little about me!

1. What is your favorite indulgence?
     A glass or two of red wine
2. What is your favorite cocktail?
     Bloody Mary!  The spicier the better
3. The clothing item you cannot live without?
     Any of my Lululemon Wunder Under pants
4. Your favorite workout song?
     Oh boy, this is tough. I'm running more now and I like Greyhound by Swedish House          Mafia for my long runs!
5. What is your favorite way to sweat?
     Another tough one..see I'm bad at making decisions, I do know this about myself!     Currently, I'd say Yoga-Vinyasa 
6. Your favorite new band?
     Bastille
7. Your favorite color?
     GREEN
8. Where did you grow up?
     Columbus, O-H-I-O :) Go bucks!
9. What is your favorite TV show?
     Psych
10. Any embarrassing accidents?
     I do have an answer to this!  Well, this past fourth of July, my brother Noah, his girlfriend at the time, now wife, Simone and I went to hang out with Simone's sister, Lili, and her husband Andy at Andy's parents house.  There was a ton of people there and it was the first time I was meeting any of them.  Well, it was a nice day out and we had a competitive volleyball game, guys vs. girls.  Girls were of course winning :)  Anyways after a few hours in, sweat dripping, heart pumping, the volleyball gets spiked right in front of me so I quickly bend down to stop if from hitting the ground and I feel a big RIP in my shorts.  Yes, my linen shorts completely split right down the middle of my shorts, for everyone to see what was under them.  I froze for a minute in disbelief and then Lili quickly grabbed me and we ran through a crowd of people to get inside and find me a new pair of shorts. haha I of course was laughing the entire time, but my cheeks were definitely red.  The cheeks on my FACE that is! :)
11. What was your first job?
      I was a gift wrapper at Buckle when I was 15.  The 40% off employee discount made it worth it!
12. What was the name of your first pet?
      Bailey....RIP pup.
13. What's the one thing your refuse to share?
     It used to be food, haha, but now I guess my phone?  I don't like it when people take it from me and mess with it.  Kids included, haha.

14. If you had to move to another country, where would you go?

     Hmmm, I would move to New Zealand.

15. What is your favorite confidence booster?

     A good, sweaty workout.  It leaves me feeling good about myself, and overall more confident.

16. How fast can you say the alphabet?

     3.13 seconds-yep I timed it.

17. If you were a jungle animal, what would you be?

     A black panther

18. Waffles or pancakes?

     Pancakes!

19. Skiing or snowboarding?

     Boarding, dude.

20. Your best piece dating advice?

       Oh boy, I feel like I could write a book on this topic.  I guess, think about who you are with.  Don't just imagine your life with that person.  Imagine your life without them.  If you can't possibly imagine life without them, then hold on to them tight and fight for them.  If you can easily imagine your life without them, then be fair to them and let them go so you both can find your happy ever after.

21. The one item you always have on you?

      Chapstick!  

22. Favorite weekend indulgence?

      Going to a concert!  I love love love live music.

23. Best pickup line?

       Here are a couple of my favorites that always make me chuckle.

      Are you religious?  Because you're the answer to all my prayers

      I seem to have lost my number...can I have yours?

     Are you from Tennessee?... Because you're the only ten I see! 

24. If you were a food what would you be?

      An avocado!  They are green, my favorite color, and they are just pretty cool and versatile! :)  Plus, it could be fun to get mashed up for Guacamole too! :)

25. Think of your life as a movie ~ what’s the title?

      Transforming a New Me-- that was probably too easy.

Well, that little exersice helped me learn a little bit about myself, and I hope you all enjoyed it and go on and answer them yourself.  20 questions is always fun to play with your significant other, come up with your own!  I plan on doing it tonight! 

     

Looking Inward...

Well, being the week of Valentine's Day has made me think a little bit about love and relationships, as cliche as that may sound.  First, I will say I have never been a huge fan of Valentine's Day, as I think it is just a Hallmark Holiday to rack in more money.  Plus, I think it is important to show love to your significant other all year round.  But hey, it can be nice to get a card and romantic date on this day, right ladies?

Anyways, I was thinking back about when I was in middle school I went to this girls weekend retreat for church.  I remember one of the nights we talked about dating and marriage.  One of the activities we did consisted of us writing a list of all of the qualities we want in our future husband.  I am sure many girls have done this type of "Man of Our Dreams" exercise in their journals.  I think it is a great thing to do because it helps remind us to never settle and to remember the important qualities we want and need in a mate.

However, I recently got a new perspective on this little activity after reading The Compound Effect.  Hardy made a good point about the Law of Attraction.  A lot of times when we make goals, or lists such as this, we tend to think "Ok, what do I need to do to achieve this, or what do I need to do to find this perfect person?".  We should be asking, "Who do I need to become to achieve this?  Who do I need to become to attract this amazing man or woman?"  We need to look inward.  If we want this amazing person to come along in our life and if we want to keep them in our life, then we most likely need to do some inward looking at ourselves and see who we need to be to attract this special person, and then do the work to become that person or improve in certain areas.

I think relationships are the best when they come out of nowhere, when you least except them.  Often times when you aren't even looking for one.  The time when you are just focusing on yourself and the things going on in your life and then BAM, God places someone amazing in your life when you least expect it.  You know, HIS timing.  It's not forced or rushed, it just comes along naturally.

I feel like the past couple of years I have been focusing on myself and trying to be a better person in general.  Of course, it's a daily battle and we always have ways to improve ourselves.  Well, I made my list of who I need and want to be for my significant other.  Several pages actually. I think relationships in the past did not work out for me because I was probably too focused on who the other person was or wasn't, and I was not looking enough at who I needed to be for the other person. I think no matter where we are in life, single, dating, in a serious relationship, married, it's never too late to look inward and make a list of who we need to be.  Instead of trying to fix and change others, why don't we look inward at ourselves and take the steps to make ourselves a better person.  When we shower others with love, positiveness, encouragement, when we are giving, sweet, kind, generous, joyful, etc. we are bound to get those in return.  Maybe not overnight, but in time we will.  It's the Law of Attraction.  

I'll share two of my pages with you all. (I apologize for my handwriting-at the time I did not know I'd be sharing this publicly). I encourage you to make your own list.  Keep it somewhere that you will see it often, as a reminder to be the best version of yourself.

"Whatever you vividly imagine, ardently desire, sincerely believe, and enthusiastically act upon...must inevitably come to pass"

-Paul J Meyer

The Compound Effect

The Compound Effect, by Darren Hardy, the publisher of SUCCESS.

I finished my book of the month, and I could probably write a WHOLE book on how it has helped change my life.   I know that sounds drastic, but it has really put a whole new perspective and viewpoint on life.   If you want to improve any part of your life, your income, job, relationships, health, attitude, fitness, etc, then this book is for you.  It will give you simple, basic, but effective tools to accomplish your goals.

Hardy takes you back to the basics, ya know, of hard work and not expecting magical results to appear without working for it.  Basically, what you put into life is what you get out of it.   Or another way to put it is “you get in life what you tolerate”.  You get in life what you accept and expect you are worthy of.  I realized that I wasn’t expecting great things in life because I didn’t believe myself to be great.  Which is a daily mental battle, but I won’t go into that now.

The Compound Effect’s Principle is: Small, Smart Choices + Consistency + Time = A RADICAL DIFFERENCE.

One thing I have always majorly struggled with is consistency.  That’s because I wanted those FAST instant results and when I wasn’t getting it, I quit.  I thought “well, it’ll never work, I’ll never be like HER or I’ll never be able to achieve THAT,  I am just not that special”.  Well, how lame of me to think so low of myself!   Through reading this book I have learned how valuable consistency really is!  Change will happen, and it may happen slowly and that’s okay.  It’s better that way, it’s meant to work like that. 

The book really helped me learn how to set my goals the proper way so you can make them a reality instead of just a fantasy.  Hardy makes you look at your choices, habits, your momentum, and your influences.  I learned a lot about myself; who I was, who I am now, and who I want to be.

Since this year is all about change and setting goals for myself, this was the perfect book to start the year off.  I already set my goals, but I wasn't quite sure how to take the steps to achieve them.  This book has set me in the right direction.  I feel like I've gained some practical knowledge on how to achieve them.  Hardy is huge on tracking...track everything you want to change or accomplish.  One of my goals is following a budget, so I track every penny I spend in a little pocket journal.  Like I said before, it has helped me become aware.  Awareness is huge.  Most of us live life in the motions and we aren't even aware of what or why we do things.  So yea, becoming aware of my actions has helped me make better choices which ultimately leads to better habits which creates a better routine in life.

I could go on forever, and I will most likely post more things about what I learned, but another day.  I encourage everyone who is ready for a radical change in their life to read this book.  It will help you become AWARE of your daily choices, behaviors, and habits and how they truly effect you in the long run.  I took notes on each chapter and I’ve already gone back through them.

Anyways, yay for reading!  Do you have any must-reads that you would recommend?  I’m reading at least one book a month and I am open to suggestions J

January Reflection

First month is down.  I've TOTALLY transformed.., I already met every single goal I wanted to.  Yep all 52, JUST like that.  So I should probably stop writing and shut the blog down since I DID it! yep. did it all.  I am awesome.  Simply an amazing! ......catching the sarcasm yet...?  Gosh I hope so!!

Well, all jokes aside, I knew this month would be challenging as I was trying to break old habits, routines, behaviors, attitudes, and replace them with new, better, fulfilling ones!  I have always been more of a free spirit.  You know, the ones who aren't obsessed with planning out every little detail of their day and life and living by their planners.  I have always been more go with the flow, take each day as it comes.  I have always loved that about myself, but I have realized that I need to balance that out a bit and develop more of a daily routine so that I won't let the day go to waste, watch the years go by and my dreams never become a reality, ya know, staying up in the clouds...

Several of my goals had daily tasks that I wanted to accomplish, as well as weekly, and monthly goals. Here is how I did this month.

Waking up early.  Failed miserably.  My goal was to wake up around 6:15am Monday-Friday.  I probably got up early 7 days.... why do I love the snooze button so much?

I did read the devotional every day, usually in the morning.  They are short and sweet, very sweet.

I sent an encouraging text/email daily.  Usually a text.  I have really enjoyed this!  I can tell people have appreciated it because many people said "wow I really needed that today, thank you!".  It's cool how those things work.  I encourage everyone to do it.  

I did journal three things to be grateful for, usually at night before bed so I could reflect on the day.  I probably missed 7 days of doing this.  I don't want to miss anymore because I think this a great habit to develop.  We, or I, can tend to focus on all the things that aren't going right and its refreshing to take a moment to reflect on all the things we have to be grateful for.  The list is never ending!!

As far as church..I went once this month...

I did memorize a bible verse, or small passage each week.  I chose: 

Philippians 4:4-8

Proverbs 3:5-6

Ephesians 5:15

James 1:12

Stretch it out!  Oh boy I forgot how flexible I am NOT. It's been great stretching and I have been trying to stretch either when I wake up or before bed, or both!  I did miss a few days but I already feel less tight!

I reached out to someone each week that I have not talked with in awhile.  It was fun reconnecting with  people :)

I read my first book of the year.  The Compound Effect by Darren Hardy.  Life changing.  I'll blog about this book another day :)

I did a craft, with some inspiration from Pinterest.  I made a wedding gift for my brother and his wife.  It is a year of dates.  I made an envelope for each month and inside each envelope I came up with a date for them to do.  Most of them had props and gift cards to go along with the date.  I tried to get creative and think of things they enjoy doing.  They are supposed to open each envelope at the beginning of the month and then choose when they will do the date.  Married couples never should stop dating each other :) 

I played my monthly board game with two of my favorite little girls :) LIFE

Did I bake something? Yes.  Was it successful? NOPE.  haha I was wanting to make vegan chocolate chip cookies because my mom is vegan, and I like them!  I have an excellent recipe book filled with vegan recipes and I couldn't find it so I chose one off the internet.  I followed it exactly...and got CRAP results.  They turned to like super flat, thin pancakes.  I think it was the egg replacer I used... oh well, my mom and I had a good laugh about it haha.  February will be better! 

Monthly wellness challenge: I gave up Coffee.  The first few days were a little rough, no headaches really just a little tired.  But then I felt great!  I am at Starbucks now, February 1st, still drinking tea :) I think you should give it a try and see if you can do it!  I know what you're thinking...Never think you can't do something.  You can.

Monthly fitness challenge.  PLANK challenge.  I for some reason thought this would be an easy one... but no!  The first 15 days aren't so bad...but once you have to hold a plank for 3 minutes straight, I struggled.  By day 30 it's 5 minutes.  I have not mastered 5 minutes but I did do the plank every day and I held it as long as I could.  I will get to 5 minutes by the end of the year though! 

I put together a budget and a fancy excel spreadsheet so I can track all of my expenses.  I have gotten in the habit of carrying a pocket journal with me so I can write down everything I spend.  This may seem silly since we have online banking.  However, writing it down has helped me become AWARE of what I spend and knowing that I have to write it down in my journal has stopped me from spending things I normally would have bought.  One of the many tools I learned from reading Compound Effect.  Well, I followed my budget and stayed under my goal!  Yay!

So that was January!  How was everyone else's January?  Are you sticking to your resolutions?  Just remember, the only person holding you back is YOU.  You are a strong, smart, passionate, worthy, individual and you have the power to make the most out of your life.  It is YOUR life.

 Start today, not tomorrow!

Cheers to February!